{He has put a song in my heart}

Psalm 28:6,7
"Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him."

I have always loved singing.
I have some vivid memories of being a kid, thinking of how much I loved music. It certainly starts with my mom having a wonderful voice and often singing Patsy Cline in the kitchen, or my dad making her sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' in the car on a drive home.
Amy Grant was often played in our house pretty loudly on Saturday mornings. Having my dad start and restart the song so i could get my cart wheels in the living room down to the beat of the music for my 'performances'
About fourth grade my Aunt Sandy came over and brought her karaoke machine, which I proceeded to sing "achy breaky heart" over and over...loudly. no requests needed.
I dreamed (ahem...still dream) of being the singing voice of a new Disney princess. Unfortunately Belle and Ariel have already been done.
My love of music and singing continued, through out highschool singing with different worship bands and youth events.
As friends got married I had the honor of singing in weddings, and have continued to enjoy that.
The week before my own wedding my dreamy fiance talked me into singing at our town "Idol" competition- every penny of the winning money was spent on our honeymoon.
I still sing for our church on a regular basis and love it. I've always loved it. I regret not learning an instrument earlier, this is the year I will learn to play guitar.
But I have always felt like there was another part to it still in my heart, not yet discovered...not even by me. I have always wanted my singing and anything that goes with it to be for His glory.
Music can't help but be the overflow of my heart. Breakup songs are written because people breakup. Love songs are sung because people are in love and feeling swoony. I want to sing of His love, because I am loved.
I have desired to 'write music' - it sounds so artsy. But I couldn't force it. I've been on the brink....waiting.
And (i think) I'm here. It's coming, and I hope He keeps it coming.
This is the second song (more of an idea for a song) I am working on.
I want you to be blessed. Read it and connect, think- "ya that's me too. I feel that way, I want to believe that. Praise God." ---- THAT is why i want to share it- I don't think He put it in my heart to keep for my self. So be blessed.
Augustine talked about our misconceptions of the church and said- "It is not to be a museum of saints, but a hospital for sinners" .
So here is my heart.....

"Better than a Fairy Tale"

I want you to see me as kind, think of me as selfless.
Tell people I'm generous and loving.
I play a part in this fairy tale,
And the author is my pride.

Soon enough i"ll fail,
forget my lines or trip and fall-
and then you will see...
My brokenness, my wounds and scars.
My selfishness and greed,
my heart that has been beaten and torn apart.
Now where do I stand?
What is my place?
A top that pedestal in the museum of saints
or lying in this bed of a leper?
A sinner and a saint- that is who I am.
I'd rather the story of redemption be told
Than the fairy tale of my pride be sold.
A sinner and a saint- there is no better place
than to be found in His strong and healing embrace.
A sinner and a saint, that is who I am.